Cyberstalked...
Bullies are often driven by hate, anger, jealousy,
obsession, revenge, delusions and mental illness. It makes
no difference how a bully works, whether it be in person or
across the internet, other than they often seek revenge on
someone they perceive as being popular or successful online.
Sometimes it's just a twisted way of thinking, which in
reality doesn't make any sense at all. Often, the cyber
stalker/bully thinks that because they are behind a computer
screen/keyboard they can say or do anything they want
because they are not physically seen. It gives them a false
sense of strength because they are not actually speaking the
words and feel they can be somewhat anonymous. Being
anonymous, however, is not always what the stalker/bully
wants. Sometimes they will post bad things and then continue
to come back to it as if they are on some sort of stage,
taking pride in the damage they try to cause, awaiting an
applause from an audience that doesn’t exist.
Many times the victim is merely in the wrong place at the
wrong time, or has made a comment or expressed opinions that
the bully simply doesn't like. There are people online who
think their job is to police the internet and they believe
they have been given the power to do so. At times, the bully
intends to teach the victim a lesson in netiquette -- even
when that etiquette may not be proper in the first place.
There have been cases where the victim is merely being
targeted because they are the first ones the bully
encounters when they are trolling the internet. There have
been cases where the bully is actually looking to get
something monetary out of what they are doing. In other
words, they try and extort their victim into paying them to
go away. At times, a bully may also target their victim in
order to try and force that person into a relationship with
them, no matter how twisted it may seem.
Some bullies look for someone they may perceive as weak
because dominating those they see as weak may make the bully
feel strong and in control, when in reality they are not in
control of anything in their own lives. Most often you'll
find that the bully has had a dysfunctional life in some
way, and this may include family issues, jail time and
various life misfortunes that can lead them to be resentful
and/or envious of someone without such adversities. They may
view that person as their rival.
Occasionally, there is also the bully that works beneath the
shield of false victimization. "False victimization syndrome
is extremely rare and involves someone who consciously or
subconsciously wants to play the role of victim. He or she
may make up a complex tale, claiming to be a stalking
victim. In such cases, the would-be victim is sometimes the
actual stalker, and the alleged offender is the real
victim."
In November of 2008 I had an experience with this sort
of cyber stalker and bully. I received a random
email from a person who I found goes by many different names and
here are a few; Deborah Dolen, Deborah Harvey and Mabel
White. In the beginning I didn't know who this person was or
what she wanted. After a few replies back and forth it
became clear she was attempting to bully and ultimately
extort me into taking down a site called bustedscammers.com.
I am a web host by trade and that web site is one of
thousands that I host through my company. She didn't
like that her past felonies, which included prison time and
various legitamate newspaper articles, were listed on that site as a
potential warning to the work at home community. She has
assumed the fictitious name of Mabel White and Deborah Dolen
was actually the person behind that name. Even though I was
nothing more than courteous in my responses and directed her
to contact the owner of the site directly, her delusions
outweighed reality so she attacked me even further by
threatening to turn my name into being associated as a child
porn dealer. Two days later, she purchased my name as a
domain - julieryals.com. I found this out when she emailed
me along with a receipt of purchase of the domain telling me
she was "leveling the playing field". From that moment on, I
did not respond to anything at all. That would be the advice
that I would give anyone in this type of situation to make
the perpetrator stop, but this time it didn't make a
difference. She continued to email me with various threats
and harassed me, sometimes on a daily basis via email. I
think that was because I ignored her and it fueled her
revenge. I was not going to respond at all, especially since
I found she had done this very same thing to various groups
of women online a few years prior which is still verifiable
online today.
I used Google to research who this person was and what I
found out was frightening. Google is an amazing tool if used
properly. Sometimes you have to weed through the nonsense
because that very bully can use sites online as a sword to
torture and bully their victims. In my case, she had and
continues to file false reports and complaints on sites that
had nothing to do with my business. Her intentions are to
put my name out there in any negative way that she can and
has told me via email as well as my attorney that she plans
to "deal" with me for the rest of her life. I found that the
best thing to do is to look the other way and continue to be
productive online. Truth does eventually prevail and
absolutely did in my situation.
False victimization Syndrome is exactly what I experienced
from Deborah Dolen during the two and a half years that she
pursued me, and everything she was claimed was being done to
her was exactly what she was doing instead. She was the one
emailing me, calling my friends and acquaintances, leaving
nasty messages, boldly posting rude and libelous comments
online, writing fictional articles and press releases,
holding the julieryals.com domain hostage -- all while
claiming to be the innocent victim of a cyber stalker. Many
times she referenced a stalking situation and ultimately a
successful court case where a man named Gene Cooley was
harassed and libeled online. From what I understand, in that
case, a lady didn't like Gene Cooley and started posting bad
things online about him including a criminal record which
didn't exist. Deborah R. Dolen claimed that her situation
was the same except she conveniently excluded the major
difference was that Gene Cooley went to court with a copy of
his criminal record, that included zero arrests. In her
lawsuit, Deborah Dolen worked hard to exclude her
45-page criminal record, all while claiming that all of her
arrests and charges shouldn't be allowed in court because
“they weren’t authenticated or not legible". She desperately
tried everything to block them from being shown in court. Anyone can
get a copy of anyone's criminal record, and in most places
it's free. Obviously, the Federal Court system can easily
confirm a prior criminal history. I think she might have forgotten that we
were in a real life court room where she spent many years
defending herself in her other crimes.
"It's a sad day when a person, in this case, Deborah Dolen
aka Mabel White, used the court's resources as a sword to
threaten, scare, extort, harass and bully another person.
It's now very clear to me that anyone with $350 and a bunch
of delusions can file a lawsuit against anyone for any
reason and request that a jury hear the case. Needless to
say, the jury never got to decide and ultimately it was all
wasted time because the Judge dismissed everything the
minute Deborah Dolen rested her "case". What does that tell
you?"
Long story short, Deborah Dolen filed a fictional Federal
Lawsuit pretending to be the victim, while bullying me and
ultimately wasting public resources and time by using the
courts as yet another weapon to victimize me and many others
she involved with this frivolous lawsuit. All along she
claimed in the court process that she was broke, destitute,
indigent and nearly homeless. But, online she
viciously attacked us and claimed she was a superstar living
in mansions, an amazon acclaimed author selling books,
producing television shows, Nearly two and a
half years later a very tolerant Tampa, FL Federal Judge
dismissed all of Deborah Dolen’s claims against me, stating
that she had an "infinitesimal infinity chance of
prevailing" in any of her claims against me. I did get my
name back as a domain name, but still deal with the ongoing
delusional posts from someone who is very disconnected from
reality. Unfortunately I'm not her first victim and I'm sure
I won't be the last. Even though I was eventually released
of this torturous game of lawsuit lottery Deborah Dolen was
playing with me and my life, this article is written in
hopes to offer future support to the next victim who may
need help.
©Julie Ryals - 2011. Julie Ryals is a wife, mom, business
owner of The Design Shoppe, DIYShoppes.com, Head Mom of
MomPack.com and an accidental author. Julie Ryals is a
advocate against cyber stalking, cyber bullying and other
nasty things online. Read more about her personal experience
with an online bully and her experience with lawsuit lottery
(aka extortion) at www.julie-ryals.com